Captain Chaos ~ Flood Warning
As you may've already gathered, Zach and I play footy together. That doesn't mean we're best buds or anything—far from it. The truth is Zach Hammond's a complete jerk. When he's not tossing kids head-first into the bin at school, he's giving them sky-high wedgies. Not just regular wedgies, I'm talking about the kind where your undies almost need to be surgically removed.